ONE-Pause to Shift Impulse to Inquiry
A couple of weeks ago, I saw this post:
“Father cuts his son’s locs because he bullied a child with cancer.
Is this the correct punishment?”
Within hours hundreds of comments flooded in:
- “Best dad award 👏”
- “Absolutely the right punishment…”
- “I’d give him a reason to scream…”
- “My heart breaks… but well deserved.”
Hundreds of comments. Strong opinions. Immediate conviction. I was disheartened. Not shocked. It is the reality of humanity. So I paused. Because this is what social media has become:
- Impulse without inquiry
- Conclusions without facts
- Emotion, projection, and assumption
No one asked:
- What exactly did the boy do? — It didn’t seem to matter.
- What is the full sequence of events? What are the facts?
- What led up to this moment? — No one asked.
So how can anyone conclude this is the “right” punishment? So I asked those questions, I got more reactions and attacks.
And that’s the concern.
Not just the video. Not just the parenting decision. But how quickly we normalize forming opinions without understanding the situation.
Back in 2013, when we spearheaded an anti-bullying project and reviewed 400+ stories from kids (ages 8–16), one thing became clear:
- Not everything is bullying
- Bullying has many forms, from low to high severity
- Not every story is what it first appears to be
- And sometimes—parents overreact to incomplete information
Before answering, “Is this the correct punishment?” maybe the better question is:
What do we need to know to assess the situation?
From a parenting perspective, I asked a group of friends.
Out of more than a dozen—only one paused and asked:
👉 “What if this isn’t discipline—but a pattern of abuse?”
And that stopped me. Because how would we know— without context, history, or facts?
What is the purpose of our interactions?
When you scroll—pause and ask:
What need is this satisfying?
- Inform and be informed
- Learn and understand
- Inflame—and react
🔴 What is the role of a parent?
Not just to correct— but to guide, protect, and teach.
- Discipline with purpose, principles, and personal responsibility
- Accountability with dignity
- Self and emotional regulation over reaction
Because discipline doesn’t just shape behavior— it shapes their future and how they lead their life and treat others.
🔴 IN CONCLUSION
When we don’t know the full story— our responsibility is not to judge, but to ask questions.
Lead with Purpose. Speak Assertively. Act Responsibly.
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#Parenting #Leadership #CriticalThinking #ThinkBeforeYouReact #MindfulParenting #Accountability #SocialMediaCulture #SelfRegulation #LetsSpeakUp #SELFEx #SpeakWithPurpose
Lea Wolf-Soffer
Lead with Purpose. Speak with Clarity. Act Responsibly.
